Uggh...A Bad Realization

Don't you hate it when something hits you suddenly that you should have seen coming all along.  I stepped on the scale this morning and saw a number that I promised myself I would never see again.  I haven't seen it in over 6 years since my weight loss journey began right after Skylar was born.  The last time I saw this number I was thrilled as I was weighing less than I had in years and I was still losing.  However, this morning when I saw it I was less than thrilled.  So, today is the day.  I have used this blog before as a motivation tool for my weight loss, and today I begin again.  As of this morning, I have 20 pounds to lose to get back to my "comfort zone."  This is Day one....

New Goal

For my birthday, Brian got me exactly what I wanted, a treadmill. I have done really good at using it ever since. I started keeping a log of my distances and times on the second night. That night I walked 2.4 miles in 46 minutes. I have been increasing my distance ever since, but walking a minimum of 45 minutes each session at least 5 nights a week. On Tuesday I went 3 miles in 45 minutes. I even managed to jog one mile of that, which led me to set a new goal for myself. As you may remember, each October I participate in the Race for the Cure. By this October I want to be able to run the entire 5K - that's just slightly over 3 miles. While that may not seem like much, for a couch potato like me, it might as well be a marathon. So - I will keep you all updated on my progress and let you know when I finally reach my goal.

As far as the weight loss goals I have, I am still holding steady. I haven't been able to shake those 5 pounds I put on during the Christmas season, but I haven't added any more. I am hoping the new walking/jogging routine will whittle them away. I can already see a difference in the way some of my clothes fit. Even though the scale hasn't shown a loss, some of the fat has at least shifted around, so I have to consider that a non-scale victory.

Have I Mentioned, I Hate Shopping

I reminded Brian yesterday just how lucky he is...his wife, unlike the majority of women, hates to shop. I have been in need of some new dress pants for work for several months, but for some strange reason I decided yesterday I was going to buy some. After three stores, I had not bought a thing...and then I remembered why I am in such need of pants. I hate to shop. Nothing fits me. I remember before I lost weight, I had this grand illusion that if I was thinner I would be able to find all kinds of cute clothes to wear. Well I was right about finding them, just not for me. The racks are full of cute clothes...just none to fit my apparently oddly-shaped body. And so I headed home, still in need of pants and even a little depressed. I know I shouldn't let it get me down but for some reason it really bothered me yesterday.

Oh - and Brian told me I didn't have to remind him how lucky he is. He realizes it every time his co-workers come in ranting and raving about how much money their wives have spend on clothes.

How Rude

The rudeness of people will never cease to amaze me. Last night, we attended Stephen's school Christmas concert. While I understand that listening to a couple of hundred second and third graders sing Christmas carols hardly qualifies as a upscale social event, I was amazed by the amount of talking and chatting that went on among not only the kids (mostly bored teenagers drug there to see their pesky younger siblings) but the adults that were supposedly there to support their children. While I sat an listened to the singing - which was pretty good by the way - there were numerous conversations going on around me that were very distracting.

I don't know if I am just more aware of this or if it is actually becoming more prevalent, but I notice this kind of thing happening at all kinds of events where it shouldn't be the norm. I even notice it at church a lot. While someone is singing to the Lord, there are usually several conversations going on in the congregation. It was very obvious to me over the last few weeks when I left my usual seat on the front pew and sat in the back. Throughout the congregational singing, special and even preaching there were people of all ages - yes, even the "elders" of the church chatting it up. All I can say is - can't it wait until later?

While I am ranting...There are three of us here at work that profess to be on weight watchers. It has been an especially hard month since several clients have brought in goodies ranging from cookies to apple fritters, but alas the clients don't realize the temptation they put before us. However, this morning one of my fellow "weight watching" employees brought in a plate full of sweets. Have you ever felt completely sabotaged? I told her she should know better than to bring that down here. Her reply - "I had to bring some of it down here so there wouldn't be so much left at home to tempt me there." I have taken a stand - I refuse to eat it - not one bite - and I told her so. In fact, I told her that it would be even worse on her because now she had the temptation in both places. Anyway - how rude!!!!!

Tales from the Scales Update

And I am happy to say even with all the temptation of the various treats of the season, I am still maintaining. I know I didn't post last week - don't really remember why - but since my post two weeks ago, I am down one pound. Which means I am 1.5 pounds above my "comfort zone." Not to shabby. Check out the progress of others at Tales from the Scales.

Challenge Update

Still doing good. Well actually up 1 pound but considering I have had no exercise this week other than the 3 miles I walked Saturday, I will consider that good. I have had a sinus infection which of course makes me feel like barely moving when I have to, let alone voluntarily engaging in exercise. But I am on the mend now, so this week will be better.

I wish I had my pictures off of my camera to show you the baby shower cake that I helped decorate this weekend. I will try to share soon. Come to think of it - after "taste testing" that icing Saturday, I should be VERY thankful that the scale was only up a pound this week.

Wanna be inspired...head over to Tales from the Scales and see how everyone else did this week on the challenge.

Holding Steady

So there was no change in my weight this week. I know that if I had made better choices this weekend I would have seen a slight drop, but I didn't and I will take what I got. I have been doing better at getting my water intake up. The last 2 days I have had 80+ ounces. Needless to say I have made many trips down the hall to the restroom. I have also tried to do better at excercising. I still haven't made it outside to walk, but i did dust off the seat of my stationary bike a few more times this week.

I have been reading a very interesting blog concerning weight over at girltalk. They are running a series of interviews with authors David Kotter and Dr. Jeffrey Trimark. They have a book scheduled to be published next year called Eat and Be Content. They have brought out some thought provoking ideas about overeating, discontent and sin. While I haven't read enough to know that I agree with everything they say, they have definitely given me some food for thought about the way I view food, eating, weightloss and how it relates to my spiritual life.

Tuesday Challenge

It's amazing how well things work when you actually do them right. I stayed on track for the last week, counted my points, and tracked them daily, and I am very proud to say that I am down 3.5 pounds. That puts me back at the very top of my maintenance range.

My next goal is to get back into my exercise routine. I have let that slip a little here lately. My problem is that I absolutely loathe riding my stationary bike, but it seems to be the only routine I have been able to stick to. Now that the weather is cooling off, I hope to get outside and go walking some. At least that would shake up the routine some. I guess I could drag out my real bike so I would at least feel like I am going somewhere, but I would probably be as graceful as my friend Jenny. I haven't been on that bike since I found out I was pregnant with Stephen back in 1999.

Anyway - hope everyone else over at Tales from the Scales had a good week too.

In Other News

Brian has been going to therapy for carpal tunnel as well as lower back pain. My sister starts physical therapy today for carpal tunnel as well. This got me to thinking, as much time as I spend at my computer, it is almost inevitable that some day I will develop this as well. So for a little preventative measure, I switched my mouse to my left hand. Talk about a way to really mess with your mind. Now I am left-handed, so you wouldn't think this would be such a big deal, but it is all in what you get used to. Though I do think that being a lefty makes it easier for me to adapt because most things in this world are made for right-handed folks, it is really a struggle to retrain your mind. I challenge you to try it for a day, mostly so I won't be the only one confused about right clicks and left clicks being totally backwards.

Telling Tuesday - Once Again

I have to tell on myself - I have not done as good this week as I had hoped. I jumped back on last week with grand hopes of losing the couple of extra pounds that had sneaked back on. Somewhere along the way, I lost focus. And not only did I not lose those pounds, but another 1.5 jumped on as well. So here I am 3.5 pounds above the top of my maintenance range. So how did I let this happen? Very simple - I stopped counting points. While I have never been able to keep a written journal of what I eat, I have been vigilant since the beginning of the year in recording my points with my bracelet. Somewhere over the course of the last 2 months or so, I stopped wearing it. I don't remember even making a conscious decision to stop, it just happened. So as of today, I am back to tracking. It is the only way for me to be accountable for every bite I eat, and it obviously has worked for me.

As for the challenge over at Tales from the Scales, they have moved their posting day from Tuesday to Wednesday, though I will continue to post here on Tuesdays and just link there on Wednesday. Be sure to check them out for lots of inspiration, information, and even some free giveaways.

Telling Tuesday

Well I looked back through my posts and I can't believe I haven't posted anything weight related since July 31. I have been updating my chart each week but for some reason I stopped my Tuesday habit of posting about the challenge over at Tales from the Scales. As you can tell by my chart I am hanging in there. Maintenance hasn't been as hard as I expected until this past week. For some reason I haven't been able to make the best choices. I have been snacking too much and on the wrong things. There were birthday dinners and birthday cakes, stress, and emotional eating.

My Weight Chart:


So I visited the challenge this week and decided to get back to posting at weekly with my Telling Tuesday post about how things are going. I seem to do much better when I am accountable to somebody other than myself - so it is your job to keep me accountable. My only goal is to stay within my 5 pound maintenance range - which as of today means losing 2 pounds, which with any luck will be gone by next weeks weigh-in. This is the last weigh-in for the May Day Challenge at Tales from the Scales - but the first week of the Look Great in 2008 Challenge. So if you have a few pounds to lose, or just need help maintaining - head on over for some inspiration and accountablility from a bunch of great gals face the same trials as we do everyday.

We're BAAAACCCKKK

And I am give out. It was sooooo hard to get up and get ready for work yesterday morning, and it didn't get any easier today. But I do have to say that I thoroughly enjoyed my time off. We had a safe and enjoyable trip, and most importantly we all had fun. Each of us got to do at least one thing that we really wanted to do. I guess I need to get to work now(there is nothing quite like the feeling of being a week behind) so I will write about all of our adventures over the next few days.

On the challenge front - I am very proud of myself. I only gained 1/2 pound over the course of our trip. I did not make the best choices (that fried catfish sure was good), but we did get a lot of exercise - I even managed to visit the gym in the hotel. I was very pleased with the results, especially since they could have been a whole lot worse.

Challenge Update

Well I am smack dab right in the middle of my comfort zone again. Right where I want to be. I have also quit taking the prescription that I think was the culprit of the sudden gain. In fact as soon as I stopped taking it, the pounds started coming off immediately. Now I just hope being on vacation this week doesn't pack on too many pounds. I plan to make good choices, but will not deny myself a few vacation treats. I will let you know the damage next challenge update.

I am enjoying my time off so far. Of course over the weekend we had all of the usual stuff going on, so yesterday was the first day I really got to enjoy my time off. I slept in until 6:15 - go ahead and tell me how lazy I was. I spent most of the morning cleaning house. I really have a hard time enjoying doing nothing when I know there is something I really should get done, so I decided to get that out of the way first. After lunch, the kids and I went to the library - I know I am a nerd. They got some books on CD to listen to in the van, and I got a book to read by the pool. Problem is I started reading it last night, and if I am not careful I will finish it before we ever get near the pool. Today we will be packing and running last minute errands, so maybe I won't get too much reading done.

Challenge Update

I had a great revelation a few weeks ago. After that my mindset was great. I continued to eat on plan and maintained just as I knew I could. Then last week happened. I continued to eat on plan except for one day (and I openly admit I blew it that day but who doesn't have a day like that on occasion?). I blamed last weeks 4 lb gain (yes you read that right 4 pounds) on water weight gain - mostly because it appeared on the scale in a matter of only two days. I figured it would go away in a couple of days (like it does every month), but as I continued to eat on plan and count every point the weight has not gone away. It has been very discouraging. I am not one to place blame where it doesn't belong but I have been doing everything by the book. The only thing that has changed is I began taking a new prescription about 2 weeks ago. I have looked up the side effects only to find the ambiguous statement - "may cause weight loss/gain." What a way to cover all your bases...

I have decided to give myself one more week and see if I can shed these pounds or at least a portion of them. If I have no results by next Tuesday, I am calling my doctor and asking for her opinion. Honestly, if it is the medicine causing this problem, it is a case of the cure being worse than the disease, because the problem we are treating is not even a real issue to my overall health.

Check out everyone else's challenge progress over at Tales from the Scales.

Plea for Help

I really feel like a lot of things in my life are out of control right now. I don't feel like I have time to do anything. We always seem so rushed to get from here to there. It's always hurry, hurry, hurry. There is something planned for every waking moment. Lord, I ask that you help us step back and take the time to do the things you would have us do, and realize what can be left for another day.

On the financial front things are out of control as well. It seems like there is always more month left at the end of our money. I told Brian it was time that we sit down and really look at our spending and see where we can cut back. We have talked about it before, and said we would cut back here and there, but we have not followed through. It is time to really analyze just where our money is going. Lord, I ask that you be with us in this so that no harsh words are said and no one's feelings get hurt.

On a lighter note...

My son has turned preacher. Stephen held a revival last week at Brian's parent's house. You may remember from this previous post that they have twelve chickens. Well Stephen carried his Bible down to the chicken pen and preached to them. He read scripture, then had an alter call. According to him, five of the twelve accepted Christ and got saved. He is still praying for the other seven. I just hope he doesn't get the bright idea to try to baptize any of them. Can you imagine the feathers flying?

Challenge update - not so great this week - I am retaining water and I feel like the Pillsbury dough boy.

Staying the Same

Well my first official week of maintenance went pretty well. I was actually a little surprised that I didn't gain. I pretty much spent Saturday and Sunday eating whatever I wanted. We had Chinese Saturday, and then Sunday was potluck at church. Even though I took some healthier choices, it is hard to pass by some of my favorites without getting a little taste.

I also have to praise God for an answered prayer. First let me say that we have been blessed that both of our children have never had to stay with anyone other than family while we work. My mom has provided a loving place for them to stay ever since Stephen was born. Then after Skylar was born, and Brian's mom retired they have had the opportunity to spend a day or two a week with her. Well now that Brian's dad is sick, we have been praying for someone trustworthy to watch then a couple of days a week. My mom is just not able to keep up with them and my 4 year old nephew five days a week. Last night we got the answer to our prayer. Our next door neighbor, and long time friend said she would be happy to keep them. She and her husband are like family. In fact the kids even call them aunt and uncle. The kids will love spending the extra time with them, and I won't have to worry that they are being cared for in a loving yet disciplined manner.

Thank You

So I was checking out the hits on my blog today and couldn't figure out why there were so many - the only day I have more than one or two is Tuesday when I post on the challenge at Tales from the Scales. Well I got to looking and the links were coming from there so I checked it out and imagine my surprise when I found they were writing about me. Thank you so much for all of your support and I pray that each of you comes to a point where you are happy with where you are.

A Happy Medium

I had a revelation this weekend. As I was standing in the dressing room trying on clothes at Sears, I looked in the mirror and realized - I am happy with the way I look. Right then and there, probably for the first time in my life I was comfortable in my own skin. This leads me to my second revelation - while I haven't reached that magic number on the scale - that goal that I set almost 80 pounds ago and haven't wavered from - I am happy at my current weight. I know I could say that it's only 8 more pounds, but if I am happy, why push myself toward a goal that was set when I was so unhappy with my body that I didn't think I could ever be satisfied with the way I looked. So rather than continue to push myself toward an arbitrarily set number on the scale, I am changing my goal. I am within a five pound range where I will maintain. And I can honestly say something that few people can say - I am happy with my body.

Challenge Update

Well I had hoped to have more progress on this challenge than I have, but I guess not gaining is progress in a way, especially after that cheesecake last week. I lost a pound this week which makes my total for the challenge at Tales from the Scales a whopping 2.5 pounds. Guess I will take what I can get. There is still plenty of time to make my goal before the challenge is over.

Challenge and Weekend Update

Well I guess I should be glad I lost 1/2 pound this week. I was an emotional eating wreck last week, and the birthday cake didn't help matters any at all. For that matter neither did the church cookout. But back on track yesterday and all will be good this week.




We had our annual F.R.O.G. Day (Fully Rely on God) for the kids at church Sunday. We took them all to the Ozark Conference Center for an afternoon of swimming, eating, and frog racing. The kids really seemed to enjoy it. I know mine were completely worn out by the end of the day. I even kissed a frog (thanks a lot Bro. Wayne) - and no it didn't turn into a prince.

Holiday Weekends are the Worst

Don't get me wrong, I loved the time off. I even managed to make it a four day weekend, but it really messed with my game plan. I have found that when I am at home I am an afternoon snacker. It doesn't matter that I just ate lunch - I want something to eat around 3 and I don't want to stop until time for supper. So back on plan this morning...damage control.

Challenge Update

Well for this weeks challenge over at Tales from the Scales, I lost 1/2 pound. I am not complaining. That only leaves eight pounds to go. I had a non scale victory this past week as well. I went to the doctor for a physical (yes this was a result of all of the recent cancer diagnoses), and she was impressed with my recent weight loss as well as my maintenance of my previous weight loss. It is always a confidence booster for a health professional to be impressed.
***update*** I just got a call from the doctor's office and the results of all of my labwork was "very normal". I really like being normal.

I have still been reading The Beck Diet Solution. As I get farther into it, I can recognize several things I have done that have made my journey a success this time while I wasn't really conscious of them at the time. However, reading them has made me more conscious and has really reinforced those ideas. Everything from being accountable to a coach to tracking what I eat to simply knowing that it is OK to feel hungry at times.